I am a mother, first and foremost. Most of my day-to day decisions are governed from this place of mothership which, as mothers know, can feel weighty and unrelentingly selfless but glorious nonetheless. My child’s safety and well-being, his laughter and his joy, his love and fears, his mind and his passions are mine to lose. The gravity of this responsibility is crushing some days; yet, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Each day with him is a privilege.
As grateful as I am for my son, I know there are other mothers out there who aren’t so lucky. Mothers who have felt their child’s radiant life-force cocooned in their bellies, felt total surrender, only to be betrayed by the forces of their own body. Mothers who have wept silently, alone in a bathroom, never to speak of their misfortune again. Mothers whose nurseries cradle no one.
Losing a child is among life’s worst tragedies. It is a plight no parent ought to forage, territory better left unclaim...
Not all pregnancies feel like rainbows and sunsets.
For many women, pregnancy is more like planning a trip to Italy, only to find out that your plane has landed in Estonia and there you must stay. Undoubtedly, you’d find this scary, unpredictable, confusing, and foreign.
Countless magazine ads, social media posts, and celebrity photos portray pregnancy that appears glamorous, footloose and fancy free; however, this ideal is skirting on fraudulent.
The reality, for lots of pregnant women, isn’t anything close, and the result of this discovery can vary from disappointment to despair.
To learn that the glow of pregnancy and the blissful belly you longed for isn’t yours to carry can make you feel betrayed by your own body. No one, not even your doctor or midwife, can te...
I like to think that people are capable of becoming their most authentic self, that this is what we long for at our core. But it is no easy feat. Only through a consistent commitment to self-awareness and exploration, is change possible. It might seem scary at first, but transformation is liberating.
Once you've decided you'd like to get some help, the first step in this transformation is to ask for it. It's paramount that you find the right person to help you. The word "counsellor" is not regulated in BC; many people claim to be counsellors but do not have the appropriate qualifications to practice safely or ethically. Accredited counsellors will have at least a Master's degree and will be registered with a regulatory body provincially or federally.
The British Columbia Association of Clinical Counsellors (BCACC) is the gold standard governing body for therapists in BC. Its members, designated as Registered Clinical Counsellors (RCC), must hold at least a Master’s level degree, ha...
Consistent self-care is vital to your physical and emotional well-being. All too often we forget to engage in the things that bring us joy, peace, laughter, or calm. Life gets busy and we make us excuses like, "I'm too tired", or "I have to pick up the kids" and our self-care gets pushed to the side again and again. It's a slippery slope to poor eating, sleeping, and relational patterns, so here are a few suggestions to help you establish a self-care plan, or get back on track.
1: Take a Bath. After the kids are in bed, and your hubby is snoring, draw a bath with some essential oils. Light a candle, pour in some bubble bath, and relax. It doesn't have to be for long; even 10 minutes can be enough to calm your nervous system and mind.
2: Read a Book. Have you been meaning to read that book on your bedside table for months now, but haven't gotten around to it? Even reading just a few pages can let you escape into another reality and lull you into re...
It's normal to feel nervous for your first counselling appointment. In fact, those nerves might stick around for the first session or two. Talking to a stranger can be uncomfortable for some people, but those anxious feelings tend to diminish pretty quickly once you've met your counsellor, taken care of a few particulars, and settled into the room.
So, what can you expect to happen on your first visit? Well, the first thing your counsellor will do is go over an intake form. This standard form will ask for things like your address and emergency contact, any medications, and maybe how you heard of your counsellor. Secondly, you'll go through the consent and confidentiality form with your counsellor so that you are fully aware of the treatment your counsellor is providing, and the limits he or she must adhere to legally. You'll sign these forms and talk about any questions or concerns you may have.
After you've completed these forms, the first ses...